The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to extremely difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded look at this web-site with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , leading to effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, wellness, love, and closeness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. Many gay guys want to learn from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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